Standards…
What are they? Why do they exist? Do you ever feel like you don’t meet them? I have had the feeling lately that I don’t meet some of the standards or well at least someone else’s standards. What else could it be? I haven’t done anything or at least that I know of. How come things can change almost instantly? I hate it. I know hate is a strong word but I do. It makes me feel shitty. If you don’t meet some ones standards at first, can you meet them later? Or do you just always stay the same to that person? I feel like everything is my fault and I want to fix it some how but I can’t. I don’t know what is wrong or if anything is, I just feel like something is. Everything was fine and then an hour later it isn’t but you have no idea why. Then you don’t talk to them for a couple of days, do you get mad or do you just leave it alone?
The song the “best of you,” well I don’t think anyone has gotten the best of me, not in a bad way or evil way, like the good way. I want someone to but when ever I start to open up, I get shut down. Maybe I open up to soon or well maybe once they see part of me, they run away. Maybe there isn’t really a good part of me because if there was why hasn’t anyone gotten there? Well Dorothy has but why hasn’t anyone of the opposite sex? I have had so many people ask me why I haven’t gone any farther than I have. Do I really need to justify myself? People think I am weird because I haven’t but I have a little self respect, I don’t just go out and fool around with people. Just because I am out of the norm does that make me weird? No one so far has deserved to get anything more from me and when ever I think I find someone that does, they always shut me down. Or well maybe I just don’t meet their standards. I guess I am not like most girls, I am not easy, I can do things myself, I love cars and sports. I love my friends I would do anything for them. I mean what does someone want from me? I open up and the second I do I get hurt. Well what the hell is that? Where do I go from here? Why when the one person I want and haven’t done anything to hurt, not want me? Can I change it or do I just get over it and or learn to live with it?
Marisa
What are they? Why do they exist? Do you ever feel like you don’t meet them? I have had the feeling lately that I don’t meet some of the standards or well at least someone else’s standards. What else could it be? I haven’t done anything or at least that I know of. How come things can change almost instantly? I hate it. I know hate is a strong word but I do. It makes me feel shitty. If you don’t meet some ones standards at first, can you meet them later? Or do you just always stay the same to that person? I feel like everything is my fault and I want to fix it some how but I can’t. I don’t know what is wrong or if anything is, I just feel like something is. Everything was fine and then an hour later it isn’t but you have no idea why. Then you don’t talk to them for a couple of days, do you get mad or do you just leave it alone?
The song the “best of you,” well I don’t think anyone has gotten the best of me, not in a bad way or evil way, like the good way. I want someone to but when ever I start to open up, I get shut down. Maybe I open up to soon or well maybe once they see part of me, they run away. Maybe there isn’t really a good part of me because if there was why hasn’t anyone gotten there? Well Dorothy has but why hasn’t anyone of the opposite sex? I have had so many people ask me why I haven’t gone any farther than I have. Do I really need to justify myself? People think I am weird because I haven’t but I have a little self respect, I don’t just go out and fool around with people. Just because I am out of the norm does that make me weird? No one so far has deserved to get anything more from me and when ever I think I find someone that does, they always shut me down. Or well maybe I just don’t meet their standards. I guess I am not like most girls, I am not easy, I can do things myself, I love cars and sports. I love my friends I would do anything for them. I mean what does someone want from me? I open up and the second I do I get hurt. Well what the hell is that? Where do I go from here? Why when the one person I want and haven’t done anything to hurt, not want me? Can I change it or do I just get over it and or learn to live with it?
Marisa
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